One of the hardest things we ever have to experience in this human existence is separation from those we love.
Grief is a painful, ongoing process that a single grief group or a few months of therapy or even some excellent trauma work can’t eliminate the need for. However there are aspects of grief that you do not have to struggle with. It is enough that the person (or animal) that you love is no longer a physical part of your life. There is no reason to struggle with the negative beliefs that haunt you to your core.

Some of negative beliefs common in grief are:

It’s my fault.
If only I would have. . .
I should have said. . .
I can’t handle it.
I don’t deserve to be happy.
I should feel more pain/sadness, should cry more, etc.
It dishonors my loved one to feel better.
I’m alone and/or no one understands.

Along with these and other beliefs, common feelings are guilt, anger, panic, depression, shame, anxiety and despair.

Your loved one would not want these things for you and it IS ok and possible to be happy even while you are still grieving!

Enter Continuing Bonds and IADC (Induced After Death Communication)

We have been conditioned and taught to believe that when someone dies we have to just let go of them and move on to be ok.

But the newest research in the field shows that instead of moving on, we can change our relationship with them.

Whether it’s your imagination or reality doesn’t really matter. What matters is that creating Continuing Bonds and being aware of your loved ones being near or sending signs & messages brings peace, connection and even joy. So, however you want to look at it, the bottom line is it feels better. And don’t we all want to feel better?

IADC is a spin-off of EMDR therapy accidentally discovered by Al Botkin in 1995 while working in an inpatient VA hospital. It significantly modifies the EMDR protocol in a way that allows for the client have a deep experience of connection with their loved one (human or animal) and their feelings of loss and separation are greatly reduced. Whether you believe it is a spiritual or bio-chemical experience does not affect the outcome, the sense of relief and connection is very real.

For the afterlife curious
I recommend the book Proof of Heaven by Dr. Eben Alexander, a skeptical neurosurgeon who had an NDE (near death experience) that can’t be explained away in any of the usual ways. And if you find that interesting, there are an abundance of NDE stories on youtube. Follow your curiosity and let life be a great experiment!